Fifteen years ago, April Little never imagined that making $300,000 a year wouldn’t feel like the financial freedom she always dreamed of. At 38, living in Rochester, New York, April once thought that a high salary would mean no more financial worries, a cozy home, and the perfect life. But now, she finds herself realizing that even with a high income, financial stress is still very real. “I don’t want to sound ungrateful,” April admits, “but when I reached what I thought was the top, I realized there are so many expenses. I still don’t even own a home.”

April is part of a group often referred to as “HENRYs,” or “High Earners, Not Rich Yet.” These are people who make a lot of money but don’t feel wealthy because the cost of living—especially for things like housing, education, and child care—keeps rising.

The Expensive Reality of Earning Big

April’s executive-coaching business brings in multiple six figures, but she’s still carrying $90,000 in college and grad school debt. She and her husband realized that paying for child care and private school for their three kids would take up a huge chunk of their income. So, they decided it was better for her husband to leave his radio job and homeschool the children instead.

And April is far from alone. According to new data, 14.4% of American households earn $200,000 or more a year, which is near a record high. But even with this kind of income, many high earners don’t feel secure or “rich.” Rising prices on everyday essentials, from groceries to gas, and super-inflated costs for things like houses and cars are making these families feel like they’re stuck on a financial treadmill—moving, but not getting anywhere.

Some people might think it’s hard to feel sorry for families who can afford private schools, drive Audis, and shop at Whole Foods. But what these high earners feel isn’t so different from what many Americans face: making more money but still not feeling like they have enough. The HENRYs live in the gap between what they have and what they think they need to truly feel comfortable. And what feels like “essential” spending to them might seem like a luxury to others.

Feeling Like They’re Never Rich Enough

Take Joshua Siegel, for example. He’s a successful attorney in Los Angeles, driving around in his Lexus SUV. But even as a 40-year-old partner at a law firm, Joshua expected to be living in a home he owned and spending his weekends at a fancy country club. Instead, he’s still renting a house and golfing at public courses. The cost of raising three kids in one of the country’s most expensive cities has been a financial reality check for him. Joshua also points out that many people in his position come from wealthy families with trust funds and down-payment help. Coming from a middle-class family himself, he’s had to make his own way in the world, and it often feels like he’s just “treading water.”

Monique So, a 40-year-old financial consultant, and her husband—a software engineer—have a net worth in the mid-seven figures, which sounds impressive. But Monique still feels uneasy about their financial future. Why? Because daycare for their 2-year-old costs a whopping $30,000 a year, eating into their budget. For Monique, even with millions saved up, she won’t feel truly comfortable until they reach an eight-figure net worth. She describes her mindset as one of “scarcity,” a feeling of never having quite enough to relax.

When Being “Rich” Just Isn’t Enough

Many financial advisors are seeing this same pattern among their clients. Caitlin Frederick, a financial planner in Florida, says a lot of midcareer professionals are earning hefty salaries but still don’t feel as wealthy as they thought they would. Many millennials she advises delayed buying homes or starting families so they could focus on their careers. And while their incomes eventually grew, so did the cost of nearly everything else. Now that they’re finally ready to settle down, they’re realizing that the prices for homes, cars, and childcare have skyrocketed.

It’s not just the rising prices, though. Lifestyle creep is another issue—each time people get a raise or promotion, they tend to increase their spending. Some splurge on vacations or dinners at expensive restaurants, making it harder to save. These high earners watched their slightly older coworkers living it up with luxury purchases, and they thought they could afford the same. But the reality is, it takes more money than ever to feel truly “rich.”

To put it in perspective, in 2009, the median home price was around $220,900, and a new car cost about $23,276. Fast forward to today, and the same home now costs $412,000, and a new car can set you back $48,000! Childcare costs, too, have risen sharply—the average babysitter now costs $18.38 an hour, much higher than the $10.50 rate from 15 years ago. HENRYs are finding that it’s hard to find anything midrange; companies are pushing luxury versions of everything, from $1,000-a-night hotel rooms to high-end water bottles.

Private School vs. Everything Else

One of the biggest financial challenges for high earners is education. Nearly half of American private schools have increased their enrollment over the past year. Parents who thought they’d send their kids to public school have changed their minds for a variety of reasons, including disruptions caused by the pandemic, teacher shortages, and budget issues in public schools. For these parents, it feels like private school is the only option, even though 80% of American kids attend public schools.

Take Brad Gyger, for example. He and his wife are making private school a priority for their three children, even though it means driving a 2014 GMC Yukon with 130,000 miles on it. As a successful sales executive, Brad thought he’d be driving a luxury car by now. Instead, the cost of private school tuition—about as much as a new Cadillac Escalade every year—has forced them to live more modestly. Brad gave up his gym and tennis club memberships and now works out at home. And instead of moving to a bigger house, he’s holding on to the home they bought in 2015.

“We’re probably never moving,” Brad says. He hopes to remodel the kitchen someday, but for now, their priority is giving their kids the best education possible, even if it means living below their means.

The Bottom Line

Even though HENRYs might seem to be living the dream from the outside—big salaries, fancy cars, private schools—the reality is more complicated. Rising costs and lifestyle choices make many of these high earners feel like they’re stuck in place, always chasing the next raise or promotion but never feeling truly rich. The American dream of financial freedom is shifting, and even for those at the top, it’s becoming harder to achieve.